Flypaper (haiku)

Is no good. For Zee. Why think fly good for nothing. Want fece? Take job. —Zee the Fly

Poachin’ (haiku)

Naw. That shit be wack. Damn niggas affa m’nose. Like, shit, son. Gitch y’own. —Red the Rhino

Palm Oil (haiku)

Chin not care for oil. Oil make wife fat. Make wife-size. Maybe why trees gone. —Chin the Chameleon

Carnism (haiku)

Oh, no. Dude. I’m veg. Ain’t, like…cool…to suck…y’know? Just not in me, man… —Roger the Piranha

…Honey? (haiku)

Pfah! Cute. Thou’st amused. Thou thinketh thy whim sovereign? Thou’st not yet seen mine. —Val the Bee

Milk (haiku)

They come. They milk. Fine. What then. ‘Nother kid? ‘Kay, sure. Not like we’s countin’… —Agnis the Cow

Captivity (haiku)

Look at you. BIG nerve. You thinking good keeping here? Try keeping here too. —Fräulein the Tiger

Thanksgiving (haiku)

Not-so-bad idea: YOU try Turkey-Tuckin’ Day. I “Thanks, but no” thought… —Jeeves the Turkey

Circuses (haiku)

All’s did wonder why. We’s stood so funny, that is. Turns out, so they’d laugh. —Kip the Elephant Calf

What is this? Vegan?

  Oh…DUDE…that is TOTALLY what it is! Gnarly shit, yo? I mean…check it! These fellas here? Like…not EVEN from chickens. Not even the SAUCE, that is, man. Wicked tight, right? Oh, you KNOW…… Continue reading