INT. ZOO — CAFETERIA — NIGHT

A whole SLEW OF ANIMALS convene around a table. FRANK the seagull perches on a chair.

FRANK
Alright. Let’s go around the table.
Buster, let’s start with you.

BUSTER
Okay, yeah. That goat guy. With
the stutter… What’s his deal?

MILES
Dude man dude. Chill man chill.
Dude… Chill… Not a stutter.

SHERMAN
Well lickety-fine split, gall darn
it! How darn-dilly else he
s’posed’ta talk?!

VIN
I DON’T LIKE CONFRONTA—

LIONEL
Now listen alls a moment, ‘fore
y’say things y’ain’t mean. We’re
all folks o’ Lord here, ‘n’ no
mistake: he listenin’.

PIP
Argument? Futility. Persuasion?
Myth. Compromise?
…Impossibility. Immobility.

MARTIN
What brings us here, do you
imagine? Is it community? Plot?
Can a person simply decide to
just agree…?

NILES
Look, I think we all get

MARTIN
I put that to you…

NILES
Think we all knowa deal’s a
deal. Neighbors neighbors, uh?
Not your family, see? We keep
things clean. …Right?

TRAY
(to Niles)
‘EY. YEA, YOU. CHOO TALKIN’
TO, FUR? CHOO PROBLEM WIFF
AGGRESSION? CHOO CHUMP?

LANGDON
Why must we entrench ourselves
in delusions of discourse—this
miasma of the farcical and few…

JAMIL
This fighting—we cannot use it.
We are like bird with seed.

FRANK
Easy, Mann.

JAMIL
We must be like the herd if we
succeed.

BYRÓN
Ah, zis passion! It empowers us,
does it, no? No better friends are
zere zen zem zat share!

RED
Hey! Nunna y’all’s even arguin’.
Y’all’s jus’ sayin’, “Why’s we all
arguin’?” Be like muthafuggin’
Who’s On First all up in here…

ROGER
Dudes… Like…chill.
(a beat)
Bee Em See has somethin’ to
say…

Everyone freezes, turns to Big Mac, who sits motionlessly on his log. Everybody’s nervous. A beat.

FRANK
Well said, Mac, well said. Well, I
think this show’s over. If you
have anything else, just talk to
me. That means you, Beth.

BETH (O.S.)
Yeah, whateva…

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