EXT. ZOO — COYOTE EXHIBIT — NIGHT

HARRY the porcupine, PEARL the butterfly on his shoulder, squints at a zoo map on the ground. MARY “MAGDALENE” the coyote watches off-screen. Harry’s obviously been here awhile.

MARY (O.S.)
Prickly little pig with his prickly
personality…
(a giggle)
I like pigs… I knew three of them
once…
(sing-songy)
Nice little neigh-bors moved
a-way
(a beat)
You’re not going to move, are
you? Prickly little pig?

Pearl flutters.

HARRY
(still reading)
No, I am not going to ask her that…

MARY (O.S.)
Ask me what, little prickly?
…Little piggly? …Little prig?

Pearl flutters again.

HARRY
No—she doesn’t. Look at her. If
anything, the helpless help her

MARY (O.S.)
Who are you talking to, my
priggly little pick…?
(trick or treat, smell my feet)
Won’t take hugs…won’t take kiss…
when we talks…he don’t list’…
(a beat)
Don’t worry, porky priss…my
sickly pickly gyps’… Mary Mary
Magdalene will list’…

Flutter.

HARRY
Of course I’m listening. I’m just
not obeying.

MARY (O.S.)
What are you listening, sprig?
What won’t you, spick?
…Sprickly spig has friends but
won’t intro-dish…

Flutter.

HARRY
Fine. Fine. You know what? It’s
your proboscis. Missus Murderer?
Pearl. Pearl? Missus Murderer.
See? We’re best friends now. We
know each other. Now can we get
on with this?

MARY (O.S.)
Crispy little lick…why does your
time so tick? I’m no missus and
you’re no slick… Mmmmm…
(a beat)
…What’s your name, little schtick?
…Little wiggly tiggly trick? …I’m a
miss…she’s a stick…you’re a tickly
grip?

Flutter.

HARRY
No. No. We can find our own way
to the cafeteria.

Flutter.

HARRY
Because she doesn’t!

Flutter.

HARRY
Because we are her cafeteria! Any
nut to come through here’s her
room service!