INT. ZOO — CAFETERIA — DAY
WALLY the parrot, cafeteria mascot, sits in his cage in front of food stands. NILES the opossum lurks in shadows below, obviously waiting for someone.
Tuesday. It’s Tuesday. It’s
‘Ey! Ease up on it, uh? Give a
break to it, yeah?
Gonna tell jokes. Gonna tell jokes.
…I’ve a new one.
(giving in, barely listening)
Let’s hear it.
Guy goes home to his wife drunk
and armed. What’s he do to her.
Christ. Wals. Where ya even hear
Guy’s smacked in the jewels,
shouts some language: “Nuts.”
Wals. Come on. They’s ain’t even
jokes. My guys’ll jump ship if they
Guy’s a necrophiliac. How’s it feel.
Fuggin’ what even is this.
What’s hung more ways than one.
A’right. Dat’s it. You ain’t seen the
last of us boys. You gonna sully our
spot, you’sa pay for it. ‘N’ I ain’t
the guy gonna make ya pay. Hope
you like Big Mac’s bugs, wise guy,
’cause they ain’t turned off by cages.
Niles huffs off. Wally’d never even notice.
Three-letter word for “orgies”: “yes”.
(a beat; another)
Two-letter word for “rape”: “no”.