EXT. ZOO — RHINO EXHIBIT — DAY

[MATURE]

RED the rhino forages in the shade by a pond. ROGER the piranha watches from the water.

RED
Listen, Rog’. Can’t just be floatin’
‘tween exhibits like you’s a
peacock or bird. You’s a
mutherfuggin’ piranha, dawg. A
movin’ heart attack.

ROGER
But dude… This Hanz… You gotta
help me find him a new pad, man.

RED
Rog’.

ROGER
Kinda freakin’ me out…

RED
Rog’. Where’s he fuggin’ go.
Dude’s a goddamn convict. Nobod’
wantsa be fish food fo’ his ass!

FRANK (O.S.)
Oi, mates.

FRANK the seagull enters, lands on a branch between them.

ROGER
Oh. Hey, dude.

RED
Frank, tell this po’ punk he on
his own with this shit.

FRANK
Oof. Hanz again?

ROGER
Yeah, dude…

FRANK
Best of luck there

RED
Thoughts all you piranhas be
fuggin’ cannibals. Jus’ eat his
skinny ass. Prob’ly thinkin’
the same ’bouts you right now.

Roger freezes. He and Frank look at each other.

 

INT. ZOO — RAINFOREST EXHIBIT — DAY [FLASHBACK]

HANZ
Birds! Birds! Birds!

ROGER
Dude. Han—

HANZ
Birds!

FRANK (O.S.)
I don’t think this one’s gonna
take, Rog’.

Roger and Hanz, piranhas, float in a tank. Frank’s perched above, dangling wire mesh. He aims to drop it between the fish again.

HANZ
Birds!

ROGER
Know what, dude? Maybe just try
again tomorrow. Don’t want him
to bust a gill again or somethin’.

Hanz WHIRLS on Roger, murder in his eyes, sizes him up. A beat.

HANZ
FISH!

 

EXT. ZOO — RHINO EXHIBIT — DAY [PRESENT]

The fish and bird exchange a knowing look.

ROGER
(to Red)
‘Ey, dude, can I crash at your
place tonight?

RED
‘N’ don’t even get me started on
no land sharks…