INT. ZOO — FARM EXHIBITS — CHICKEN COOP — DAY

Two hens, FRANCINE and BEATRICE, search the nests discreetly, speaking in broken hushed tones.

FRANCINE
Now, dearie, the poor miss has a
right to her privacy, you know.
Wouldn’t be right to impose…

BEATRICE
Oh, wake up, Francine! She hasn’t
laid but for cock. If I’d half the gall
that she, I’d sell nocturnities. Now,
help me with this damn roughage.

They locate their target—a suspiciously padded nest—and begin picking out straw with their beaks.

FRANCINE
My, it’s quite stiff, now, isn’t it?
Oh, bless, how has the poor miss
managed…

ZEE (O.S.)
Oi! What bird be slow?

They freeze. ZEE the fly and THOMAS the pigeon stand accusingly in the door.

BEATRICE
Blast! We’ve been found out,
Francine. Quick, before our efforts
be compromised.

ZEE
(approaching)
Oi! Bird! No need be move.
Timothy, get stick, watch
bird.

TIMOTHY
Yessir, Misser Fly, sir. …Ma’ams?
If y’d comes wiff me, if y’d like…

BEATRICE
Unhand me, creature! Francine!
Arrest the foul trespass of this…
this…burglar!

FRANCINE
B-but…Bess!

TIMOTHY
Err… Ain’t no mind t’be upsettin’
ya, ma’am, but—

BEATRICE
I say—!

ZEE (O.S.)
Oi! Bird!

All freeze, look at Zee.

ZEE
No move egg, no help Zee. No
bird ‘cept help Zee. Yes?

Again, they all look at each other. A beat of hesitation.

BEATRICE
(to Zee, suddenly business)
We keep the ones we move; our
identities remain discreet. Any
surplus we’ll overturn sans
profit. Deal?

A beat.

ZEE
(to Thomas)
Hear bird—watch for feather.
Girl bird help lift egg.
(a beat; to all)
Hundred egg, fifty minute. Keep
leg? Need best move.

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