INT. ZOO — RAINFOREST EXHIBIT — DAY

[MATURE]

A WEASEL sits in low branches, looking at something distant. ZEE the fly is busy nearby.

WEASEL
(gesturing)
Oi, geddis. ‘Nuvva one movin’ in?
Nuffin’ ‘ell for it! …Righ’. Gonna
makes meself acquainted. You in?

ZEE (O.S.)
Zee focus.

WEASEL
Oh, I sees. Zass how it is… No
worries, ‘en. No bovva. We goddis.
(breathes)
Well. Goes nuffin’.

He climbs down the branches, makes for the floor. Zee stays behind, continues working.

WEASEL
(to unseen)

Oi! You!

VOICE (O.S.)
Birds! Wings!

WEASEL
Oi! Bloke wiffa bloomin’ bug up!
You!

VOICE (O.S.)
Wings!

He reaches the water, slips his head in, proceeds a little…comes upon a CHILL piranha and an EDGY.

WEASEL
Oi!

EDGY (VOICE)
Kill!

WEASEL
Wha’s wiffalva bandyin’?

CHILL
Oh. Hey, dude. I see you’ve met
Hanz.

HANZ (EDGY)
Kill!

WEASEL
So’s have.

CHILL
Don’t worry, I don’t think he does
mice.

HANZ
Mice!

A beat. Silence as they all look at each other. An awkward, mutual “What now?” Finally:

WEASEL
You ‘n’ ‘e, you be comin’ in on me
mates’ ‘n’ me’s wood. So tell me:
wha’s up wiffit, love?

CHILL
Oh. Dude. Yeah. I’m just here for…
like…Hanz. We were at my place…

HANZ
Bitches!

CHILL
…and…like…the neighbors?
Somethin’ about their pets or their
kids or…

HANZ
Fuck ‘em!

CHILL
Didn’t feel safe or whatever. I
think they’re parrots.

HANZ
Birds!

CHILL
No. Wait.

VOICE (O.S.)
‘Ey, Rog’!

ROGER (CHILL)
Yeah. Yeah, they’re parrots.

A BIRD flies in, lands.

BIRD (VOICE)
Who, the Steelies?

HANZ
Fuck birds!

ROGER
Yeah. And oh—hey, dude.

BIRD
(gesturing to weasel)
Who’s this?

ROGER
Oh. Dude. This is—

WEASEL
Oi. No. Nuh-uh. Nunnuvis. Ain’
‘ere f’ra cuppa, ain’ ‘ere to make
nice. Nuffin’ t’me if a fish whack
a neighba—fact, could wiffout a
fews of ‘em meself.

HANZ
Neighbors!

BIRD
Oh, hey, Hanz.

WEASEL
But issa shame—

ZEE (O.S.)
Mister Fox.

WEASEL
Oi, what!

Zee enters.

WEASEL
(calming)
Call me Mitch…

ZEE
Mister Mitch. Bird and fish new
neighbor. Need Zee before Tuesday,
contact fish, have shown plumbing.
(to bird)
Bird, Zee visit on fourth.

BIRD
Ah, ‘preciate it, Zee.

MITCH (WEASEL)
But—

ROGER
Dude, s’almost like we were made
to leave the Steelies. Weren’t for
Hanz, none of us would even be
here. S’like…

HANZ
Kids!

BIRD
Hanz…

ROGER
…fate.

ZEE
Well. Must be off.

Zee exits.

MITCH
But—

ROGER
And—oh. Dude. This dude here’s
Frank.

FRANK (BIRD)
Hiya, Mitch.

MITCH
Yeah, righ’, nice’a meetcha…

ROGER
Next week we’ll introduce ya to
the Steelies.

FRANK
Oof, great kids…

HANZ
Kids!