EXT. ZOO — CAFETERIA — DAY

Two crows on the ground near a table. A SKINNY one hunts the ground for scraps; a FAT one watches and talks.

FAT
‘N’ so ‘e says—so ‘e says—”Ain’t got
not salt.” You believe dat? No salt!
Kinda joint is this? (…I says.)

SKINNY
Yeah. Sure. You says.

FAT
So I says, “Look ‘ere, my day—my
day—we ain’t even geddit popped.
Least…if we couldn’t, dat is. Otherwise
we woulda. But salt—boy oh, salt,
y’see, salt… Ain’t need nuttin’ else.
Was nuttin’ else. ‘Cept ’em Corn Nuts
we’da be callin’ kernels. Real t’ings
didn’t show ’tilda fifties. Drive-ins
‘n’ what.

SKINNY
Hey, hey. We got a steama.

A distant WOMAN pushing something comes into view, seemingly on an intercept course.

FAT
Cripes. Should be we get ’em stroller
broads a train track. Maybe den dey’d
whistle dey’s comin’.

SKINNY
‘Kay. ‘Kay. On three, we move.

FAT
Jus’ lemme this dog first.

SKINNY
Manny.

MANNY (FAT)
Least it comes wit’ salt.

SKINNY
Manny, there’s stands on every corna.
She comin’.

MANNY
Ooh! Bitta mustard!

SKINNY
Manny! Manny, two!

MANNY
Spicy brown!

SKINNY
One, Manny!

Wheels GRIND. A curse. A beat.

MANNY
Gyads. Kinda nutcase puts relish
on a dog?

SKINNY
Jesus, Manny. Whydn’tcha friggin’
move, ya flightless fridge?

MANNY
Oi. Ain’t every day ya pass a bunless
wit’ watchin’ what carbs now ‘n’ what.

SKINNY
Sure.

MANNY
No dopin’!

SKINNY
Sure, Manny, sure. Just… Just down
the dumb dog and pack it in, ‘kay?

MANNY
Sure, Lou. Sure. I knows ya mean well.
Knows ya meanedn’t nuttin’ by it.
(a beat)
Jus’…ya really oughta stop ‘n’ taste
the board more.

LOU (SKINNY)
Jesus.

MANNY
The real board. Summa us guys gotta.
Ain’t no steama widdout salt.
(a beat)
‘Less it’s a pretzel bun, dat is. Now
get dat wissum spicy brown…